Well, as much as I enjoyed writing the first time around, I hate the fact that I am forced to do it again. If you are reading this, then you probably know the deal. My Hodgkins Lymphoma has relapsed and I am getting ready for round 2 in my little battle. I don't know if I am going to be able to update this blog every day like I did last time, but I will do my best. For probably the next couple of weeks, nothing is happening, just waiting for appointments, scheduling, etc. In the following paragraphs I'll update everyone on what has happened and where we are at this point.
I guess it has been about a month now, but my most recent CT Scan showed some signs that my oncologist wasn't completely happy about. I had taken the test just before heading out for vacation with my dad, brother, rude dog and his father in law. I was feeling, and still feel great, so there were no worries about the test. Just another standard test I thought. After leaving for vacation with a totally clear mind, the doctor called Melissa and let her in on the news. This was a tough one for Melissa. She decided to sit on this news and wait for my return before telling me. She wanted me to just enjoy my trip without the weight of knowing what was coming. This was a very unselfish act on her part. I hate that she had to carry that around with her and not really have anyone to talk to about it.
After my return, Melissa let me know the news. I was immediately pissed off. Then it is "why me? what did I ever do to deserve this?" Then it goes quickly to "poor me, poor us". These feelings lasted for a couple of days and then we began to get our hands around it. Now, we are just ready to get on with it and "Finish the Drill" so to speak. I think we are better prepared from both a mental standpoint and from a situational standpoint this time over last time. We know it is going to suck, but we are just ready. I can't really explain it. Also, we have a TON of folks ready to throw extra support our way when we ask for it. That brings up another weird thing- everyone wants to know what they can do to help. I wish we could answer that question!! I think we'll figure that out as we move along. This much we know- I will be pretty much out of commission for 4-6 months solid. Where as before I was only completely out every other week on the weeks of my treatment, feeling OK the rest of the time.
I think I have rambled enough. Here is where we are: We are being referred by my oncologist to the lymphoma specialist at Emory's Winship Cancer Center. I am awaiting an appointment to meet with him, which I am hopeful for in the next few days. Once we are able to meet with him, I think it will be about a 2 week period before I am to start back on "the Juice". I had a small procedure done last Monday to pull a lymph node from my chest so that it could be double confirmed that it was the same stuff that came back. It is.
My first step is that I will start back on the "juice" for what they call induction chemo. This will be a much more intense form of chemo than what I was given previously. I am not completely clear on this- but it is my understanding that this chemo is given on an inpatient basis rather than an out patient basis like last time. I don't know if this means I will be in the winship center for 6 weeks or if I will just be in there a few days at a time when I actually get the chemo. I'll find all this out when I meet with my transplant doctor.
The next step will be my Stem Cell Transplant. I initially dreaded even the words, but now I realize I'm lucky as shit that this technology exists and am very excited that I am a candidate for this, as I know it will do the trick for me. The success rate on Hodgkins is high. The transplant process begins after I go back into remission from the induction chemo. Once they acheive that, they can begin to harvest my stem cells. Harvesting is no problem- all they do is hook you up to a machine and run your blood through it. It takes out your stem cells somehow. Once they harvest enough stem cells, they will freeze them. From there, I am given a high dose chemo treatment. Basically, they will zap the shit out of me so that my immune system is destroyed. After the zapping, they will put my healthy stem cells back in. They act kind of like little homing pigeons finding their way back into my bone marrow and then re-producing. As the stem cells reproduce, my immune system is rebuilt. And then, voilla- I'm cured.
After the stem cell transplant, its expected that I'll have to spend 2-4 weeks in the hospital. This is mainly the reuslt of the high dose chemo and the risks associated with having absolutely no immune system. I am told the marker for getting a release is having your white blood cell count up to a certain minimum and being able to eat 1000 calories and drink a quart of water over the course of a day. That tells me I'm in for some nastiness. Oh well. After coming home, I will have to be mostly, if not all the way homebound while my immune system recovers fully. The normal time period for this is 100 days after putting your stem cells back in. This will be the challenging part. I believe I'll be feeling pretty good by the time I am released, so I'll be at home, bored. So, expect lots of blogging activity during that period. I will find myself a couple of hobbies as well.
Sorry for such a long opening post. Just catching you all up to date. Before signing off, I want to thank everyone that has contacted us for their support, encouragement and well wishes. I especially want to thank my family. My parents came out and sat with me the day I had surgery last week and watched me babble on pain pills all day. FUN. Of course, lots of love to Melissa- who is my ultimate inspiration and soulmate. Without her, I would probably cower out from some of this stuff.
Jeff, thanks for keeping us up-to-date. Remember to keep your head high -- it's the best way to capture the adventure.
Posted by: Lauren | March 19, 2008 at 12:23 PM
Wow...what an adventure you're about to experience. I know you'll Finish the Drill like a true champ!
Posted by: Erin | March 19, 2008 at 12:48 PM
Best of luck Jeff. I can't think of anyone being more physically prepared or having a better attitude to meet this challenge than you.
Posted by: Scott G. | March 19, 2008 at 02:32 PM
Jeff, you have done so much to help all of us become so much stronger and healthier. Now its our turn to help you! We are all here for the both of you! I'm sending lots of positive, strong and healthy energy your way!
Posted by: wendy | March 19, 2008 at 02:48 PM
Wow ....suddenly all the problems I had...have gone !!
Its amazing to have to read this and know someone going through this to put life into full perspective
Hang tough
PS F*&k Cancer
Posted by: Clint | March 25, 2008 at 07:39 AM
You are an inspiration to me Jeff. At the risk of sounding trite, sometimes people go through things for themselves... and sometimes the universe knows they are strong enough to show the world something. I am blessed to witness you... and Melissa go through this. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Posted by: Kath | March 25, 2008 at 05:33 PM